Kids are a daily learning experience for the parent.

For those that know me, it’s no secret I love baseball. As a father of two boys I want my kids to like sports, but I want my kids to love baseball. I want my kids to have a favorite team, as long as it’s the Redsox! So far it’s working, well one of them loves the hotdogs more than baseball, but what’s a trip to the park without a dog?

"E"man (4 years ago) @ Safeco

I love my boys, I’ve talked about this a little here before but I coach my oldest son’s Little League team. We’re currently wrapping the season up and playing this Friday in the Semi-Finals of the City Tournament attempting to re-peat as champs. Before last night’s game I was pretty excited about the season coming to an end and getting back to some sense of a normal home life. Then watching my son play last night really stirred some mixed emotions. He’s grown so much, last season his first 6 at bats all ended with him striking out. He ended the year doing pretty well hitting .330 with a couple doubles. This year it’s been completely different  leading the team in extra base hits with 2 triples, 6 doubles and finishing 2nd in batting avg by hitting  .480. To top it off he’s been nominated to try-out for the City All-star team. I had no idea what those mixed emotions were until I read this post from Pete Wilson this morning.

Margin Is Essential

Monday morning I was heading in for a 7:00 a.m. breakfast meeting and for whatever reason I actually left the house early. The breakfast place I was headed to is exactly 15 minutes from my house so I knew I had to leave at 6:45 to make it on time, however, I remember sitting down in my truck, looking up at the clock and seeing that it was only 6:39 a.m.

Just a few minutes from my destination I noticed a middle aged man in a maroon Honda Accord who was trying to pull out of the gas station into my lane of heavy morning traffic. I had plenty of time left to get to my appointment, so without hesitation I put my brakes on and let him out.

As he pulled out and waved the thought crossed my mind…

Margin is essential for the unexpected!

I tend to plan my schedule and my budgets based on perfect scenarios. The problem with that is obvious. Rarely are there perfect scenarios. In other words I have no margins.

A margin is something allowed, or reserved, for that which can not be foreseen or known with certainty.

If I had left right “on time”  I probably would have been so focused on where I was going that I would have totally missed the opportunity to let him out. Even if I did see him I’m not sure I would have taken the time to stop. Now it doesn’t sound like a really big deal, right? I mean, it’s just let a car pull out in front of me. However, this principle plays itself out in almost every area of my life and has huge implications.

I’m afraid margin is something that is missing way too often in my life these days.

My lack of margin impacts…

How generous I am with my money.

How generous I am with my time.

How I lead.

How I love.

How is your margin or lack of margin impacting you these days? What one area of your life do you need more margin the most? - Pete Wilson

I guess I didn’t fully realize what I was doing last year when I was asked to help coach my son’s team. Now as the season is wrapping up I’m starting to recognize & ask myself the same question that is in Pete’s post:

What opportunities are we missing by not having intentional margins in our lives?

Those mixed emotions are pretty obvious today. If I would have chosen to just drop him off at practice and pick him up when it was over I would have missed the fist pump last night as he tagged the runner out trying to steal third. I would have missed getting yelled at by the umpire for hugging him at third base after his first triple. I would have missed the good conversations we’ve had about disappointment and sportsmanship. In essence the list could continue, but today the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that;

“Margin gave me something unexpected. Margin took me from just being there, to being involved…”

It’s funny how sometimes it’s the subtle things in life that carry the most weight. Unfortunately they are also often the most overlooked. I have a hard time believing that God is ever really silent, I believe he is constantly shouting his affections for us from the balconies of heaven and that they really would echo through the halls of our lives if we would take the time to slow down and listen. Like I said earlier, I’m learning it’s the subtle things that seem to carry the most weight.

I’m one of the coaches on my oldest son Tre’s team. The other night we found ourselves in a position where we were up 8-7 in a rain soaked, cold game with only two innings left. Our starting pitcher had reached the 75 pitch limit and with no other pitchers available the head coach looked to Tre and asked him to bring it home. My heart sank, he’s never pitched before, in fact he’s never even thrown from the mound. He nervously accepted the challenge, wiped the rain from his hat and took the lonely walk to the mound where he proceeded to blow not only this dad away, but pretty much everyone else. He struck out 5 of the 6 batters he faced and got the save. Everyone was shouting and ran out and greeted him at the mound when it was over. It was an amazing moment for not only him, but for me as his dad. I can honestly say that it was one of the proudest moments I’ve ever had watching the team give him the game ball. He left that night and fell asleep with the biggest smile on his face. Last night we were back out on the field and Tre was tabbed as the starting pitcher against the best team in the league. To say he was nervous would be an understatement & I even more so, lets just say it didn’t end in the same fashion. He did great, but his nerves got to him a little. We lost 9-2, & he blamed himself. No matter what I said that look of disappointment didn’t disappear & there wasn’t a smile this time as he fell asleep.

Normally when we get to his school in the morning he is excited to get out and see his friends yelling I love you as the door slams shut. Today, he didn’t even open the door. I looked back and he apologized to me for his performance on the mound. Talk about ripping your heart out. I did my best to lift this little guy up and assure him of how proud I was of not only his baseball prowess but the man he is becoming. The hardest part was that my words didn’t seem to be penetrating the weight of emotion he was carrying. I got to the office and proceeded to edit some of the pics taken from last night when I saw this…

There I was forced to stare at the look of disappointment again. I began to pray for him, I prayed that he would know just how proud I was and that no matter what happens that nothing would change how I feel about him. That he was my son and that would never change. When I then could hear that subtle voice saying that no matter what I do the Father loves me and that I’m his son and that that would never change. It’s funny in that moment staring at that very picture above, the overwhelming feeling of love that I have towards my son, my God has for me. I began to think of all the times where I’ve felt disappointed and discouraged in myself, feeling the walls of life closing in only now to see that there was the love of a cross holding those walls back. Thank God for subtle lessons.

So Valentines Day came again and I’m reminded of that fat little guy with wings that shot me in the booty with that arrow. Correction, I actually believe that he had to shoot my wife since she’s so easy to love, but enough with the sappy stuff. This year we decided to do things a little different. You see I believe that we need to bless our brides on Valentines Day however, just as Evan Courtney said earlier via twitter:

“Valentine’s Day is only for the chumps that haven’t done anything for the last 364 days. So they try and make up for it.”

So I try to do things throughout the year to honor her (and not just when I get in trouble either). So on sunday I bought my wife some flowers, not roses, just a colorful bouquet of fresh smelling goodness. I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Cupids day was lurking just around the corner. But riddle me this batman, does anyone else notice that things get a little ridiculous around valentines day. Yeah I know call me a cheap skate but for the bouquet I got on Sunday was $7.99 today that same bouquet was $39.99. Sometimes I think we become so used to the way consumerism works that we don’t even realize or notice the drastic measures they take to get our money. I digress, the reason for this post is simple my wife came home tonight to what I thought was a pretty nice dinner. Some pasta salad and Apple Almond Stuffed Pork Tenderloin with a glass of her favorite Apple Cranberry Sparkling Cider. Tomorrow morning she’ll wake to the breakfast me and the boys will prepare. French Toast, Freshly Stirred (they’re 8 & 6 that’s the closest we’ll get to squeezed) orange juice, Sausage and Hash browns. Not to mention the Anointing of the french press that will be thoroughly enjoyed.

As I was purchasing the ingredients for the Valentines Feast i noticed some candy bars being scanned. You see my boys felt it necessary to throw some candy bars in the mix when I wasn’t looking. When questioned they said “but it’s mom’s favorite“. So needless to say that along with the kit kats they threw in for themselves they made the cut. After putting away the groceries, I had a chance to catch up on some of the blog posts still sitting in my reader when I read an amazing post by the creative guru Brad Ruggles when my kids so the accompanying video. That’s when our Valentines Day gift got interesting. Moved by the idea that every 15 seconds a kid dies from not having clean drinking water, resulting in over 6,000 kids a day they decided that they’d like to donate in their mom’s name. So off to the bank we went where they each withdrew some money out of there accounts. So mom gets home to candles, dinner and an e-card saying that the boys donated in her name and that some kids are gonna get clean drinking water for the next 20 years. Needless to say Mom was moved to tears and I couldn’t be prouder…

Got any gift ideas for Valentine’s Day? We do. from Angel Mission on Vimeo.

What’s New?

• Well Thanksgiving came and went.
• My wife’s as hot as ever.
• The red cups at starbucks brought the normal smile on my face. While the folgers in my office let me down once again.
• Christmas is just around the corner and things are as busy or busier than ever.
• Coaching Soccer for some cool 1st & 2nd graders.
• Can’t wait to finally meet these cool people next month in Seattle.
• Did I mention I know nothing about soccer.
• Starting to get a little more settled in the new digs.
• I’ve never dreamed more about the future than I have as of late. Can’t wait to see what this brings.
• Monday’s have become my favorite day of the week.
• Just about finished with my reading list for next year. (of course this is always open for suggestions)
• I got to looking the other day and have about 14 unpublished posts sitting in my drafts folder. Need to get this place cranking there are so many things zipping through my head.
• Loving how God’s breaking stupid things off of my life.
• Got our family pictures done for the 1st time in 10 years & love them.
• On that note! Just wanted to say thanks to our friends Phil & Jessica over at StoneCastle Photography for shooting our family pics a couple of weeks ago.

That’s it for now! So click on the image above and go take a look at our new family photo’s.

au·then·tic

I’ll save the rest of that for later back to the reason for this post. As I’m spending some time studying tonight my youngest asked if he could play brick breaker on my Blackberry Curve. Unbeknown to me my son who is 5 got bored playing that game impossible I know but like I said he’s 5. You see here is where it gets good earlier in the day my wife sent me one of those really girly, i mean cool I love you text’s with the whole smiley face and everything. Ok track with me here remember that son that got bored? Well he proceeded to take some pics with the phone, got one of the dog, one of his brother picking his nose & some blurry shots of the floor. Not a big deal right? Well how I’m not sure but he proceeded to fwd that text message from my wife to another pastor here in town that we’ve been trying to connect with.

I still have no idea until hours later I here my phone beep. I have a text message from that pastor “Who is this?” Now after some investigating I see what’s happened my wife is laughing hysterically as I proceed to call this pastor and be authentic, I do love you and no I can’t explain the smiley face. What’s a guy to do?

Boys will be boys, originally uploaded by anderson.donovan.

I’ve definitely learned a lot having kids. With two boys that are similar in so many ways yet different on so many other levels. There is one thing that will always remain consistent BOYS WILL BE BOYS! & I think you know what I mean…
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T