A few years ago while at a conference I heard a pastor say that “Christians don’t speak lies nearly as often as they sing them” For most people in the room that statement probably flew right by them drowned out by the religious AMEN’S (Not that all AMEN’s are religious but I just think there is a problem with a shout and no application, I’m just saying!). However, it’s a powerful statement when you think about it. All those times I sang of giving it all to Him when in reality I was withholding pieces or rather chunks of my heart. Trying to pretend that I had given into the idea of complete surrender and abandonment. Ever since then the lyrics to the songs that I’m singing whether in my heart or at the top of my lungs have taken on a whole new meaning.

Today was no exception! I got to the office early this morning to just spend some time in prayer and straighten up the office. I turned on the computer logged in, & went to newspring.cc to view this past weeks message and enjoy some worship. A couple of songs in they began singing How He Loves Us. I’ve sang this song over and over again but today something hit me when we got to this line

I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

I can honestly say it was more than just the lyrics, it was the passion in which they were sung as well. The concept of not “having time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us…” moved me. It moved me deep within. It moved me to desire to make it more than a concept but a reality. We all have regrets, we all have things that we wish we wouldn’t have done, but we don’t have to live with those regrets fueling our lives. I think alot of times the things that hold us back are far smaller than we make them out to be. The lyrics suggest that when I’m thinking about the way he loves me I no longer have the time to maintain these regrets. I love that! The very definition of “maintaining” is to keep in existence or continuance; preserve; or retain. I don’t want to preserve these regrets or retain the guilt, shame or condemnation that is associated with keeping these things alive. When were consumed with the reality of His love for us it will motivate us to see more, do more and ultimately be more, thus leaving us empty of the spare time it takes to focus on or breathe life into our regrets. Consider this statement that Paul makes to the Ephesian Elders:

But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Acts 20:24 (ESV)

Of all people, Paul could have some regrets. Some theologians believe that it was him that those that martyred Stephen looked to for the go ahead. A person whose life prior to meeting Christ was lived to destroy those that professed Christ. Now he’s saying look nothing else in my life matters as long as I get to finish the course that the Lord has given me. I don’t have time to put value or breathe life into these things any longer. I believe when we truly capture the reality of His love for us we will have no choice but to be absolutely consumed with His mission for our lives.

Lord I want to be completely consumed with you’re love for me. I’ve leaned on my love for you for far to long. I’ve tried to love you through my regrets and today I no longer want to spend the time or energy “maintaining” these regrets keeping these things alive. Help me to be consumed with the mission you’ve given me for my life & family to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

What’s New?

• Well Thanksgiving came and went.
• My wife’s as hot as ever.
• The red cups at starbucks brought the normal smile on my face. While the folgers in my office let me down once again.
• Christmas is just around the corner and things are as busy or busier than ever.
• Coaching Soccer for some cool 1st & 2nd graders.
• Can’t wait to finally meet these cool people next month in Seattle.
• Did I mention I know nothing about soccer.
• Starting to get a little more settled in the new digs.
• I’ve never dreamed more about the future than I have as of late. Can’t wait to see what this brings.
• Monday’s have become my favorite day of the week.
• Just about finished with my reading list for next year. (of course this is always open for suggestions)
• I got to looking the other day and have about 14 unpublished posts sitting in my drafts folder. Need to get this place cranking there are so many things zipping through my head.
• Loving how God’s breaking stupid things off of my life.
• Got our family pictures done for the 1st time in 10 years & love them.
• On that note! Just wanted to say thanks to our friends Phil & Jessica over at StoneCastle Photography for shooting our family pics a couple of weeks ago.

That’s it for now! So click on the image above and go take a look at our new family photo’s.

It’s been awhile and I’ve honestly missed this place. As stupid as it sounds i just wasn’t liking the design so much that it was actually pushing me to not post. So here I enter with a “temporary” design that just feels better and will hopefully renew the fun that it started with. Besides life has been to good not to share. So if you’re here and reading this then check back for more changes and alot more updates.

Well it couldn’t have happened at a better time really. You see tomorrow I embark on a new series that God has been stirring in my heart on the idea of living an authentic life.

au·then·tic

I’ll save the rest of that for later back to the reason for this post. As I’m spending some time studying tonight my youngest asked if he could play brick breaker on my Blackberry Curve. Unbeknown to me my son who is 5 got bored playing that game impossible I know but like I said he’s 5. You see here is where it gets good earlier in the day my wife sent me one of those really girly, i mean cool I love you text’s with the whole smiley face and everything. Ok track with me here remember that son that got bored? Well he proceeded to take some pics with the phone, got one of the dog, one of his brother picking his nose & some blurry shots of the floor. Not a big deal right? Well how I’m not sure but he proceeded to fwd that text message from my wife to another pastor here in town that we’ve been trying to connect with.

I still have no idea until hours later I here my phone beep. I have a text message from that pastor “Who is this?” Now after some investigating I see what’s happened my wife is laughing hysterically as I proceed to call this pastor and be authentic, I do love you and no I can’t explain the smiley face. What’s a guy to do?

Honestly, this is just an opportunity to get out some things that have been bottled up pretty tight inside. I’ve never found myself this deep into an inward struggle before. It seems as of late that no matter where I turn there it is staring me straight in the face. I can’t remember a time in my life that the prospect of who I’m to become and what I’m to do has been so urgently on my heart. I’ve tried to verbalize these feelings in my heart with no avail & as the tears roll and the sound of the prayer room lingers from the speakers of a borrowed laptop “Son of David have mercy on me, Son of David have mercy on me open my eyes that I may see” it quickly becomes the loudest prayer I can remember with no words leaving my lips “Open My Eyes!”

As I find myself engaged in this battle, on the inside something rises yelling “You’re Distracted!”

dis·tract·ed/dɪˈstræktɪd/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunc[di-strak-tid] –adjective

Have I become distracted in my pursuits again? Has my attention been diverted? Have I been rendered incapable of behaving in a normal manner?

It’s funny there is a vibrant life inside of me I can feel it. A life of joy, love, mission, power & impact. I know God has great plans for the future. I just want more! I’m not satisfied, not content & definitely not OK with where I’m at. Jesus please come I want more, I need more!

2 WEEKS LATER…

I find myself looking back at this non-published post & realizing that it’s really easy for me to get distracted with my present surroundings and circumstances rather than look to the One that has been to my future and back. I think all to often our idea’s and dreams of grandeur get in the way of His will for our lives, we almost get preoccupied with why things aren’t the way we see them with our eyes closed. So I come to this: “Jesus, My passion in life is to know you…” I set my heart to see my distraction turn into pursuit, my frustration fade to fascination! Jesus I want you more. Thank you that you’re gracious with me.